matrescence
noun /mæ’tres.ents/ the process of becoming a mother: The physical, psychological, and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child . . . largely unexplored in the medical community. ―Cambridge Dictionary
Most new mothers bring their infants to the doctor but ignore any distressing feelings or sensations they might themselves have―that sense of being “rattled” at many moments throughout the day and night. In Rattled, Dr. Nicole Pensak shares her own experiences and those of her patients to help new mothers feel informed, validated, and guided through matrescence. After giving birth, a woman often feels like a completely different person. It may sound dramatic, but the rollercoaster of physical and psychological changes affects brain and body in a similar way that adolescence changes us. To compound that, many women hide these feelings, worrying that something is wrong with them.
Dr. Nicole Pensak is here to reassure us that being “rattled” is normal, and not at all surprising. After all, seismic changes in identity and emotion have occurred. Research shows that a woman’s brain shifts in real, biological ways very quickly after giving birth. Many women become hypervigilant, for good reason: the brain is telling her to stay alert because she has a human to keep alive and safe. While these brainpower boosts can cause anxious feelings, they can also help to manage the distress and harness the advantages of the postpartum brain. In fact, this is a time of neuroplasticity, when the brain is more receptive to positive reinforcement.
Trained at Yale and Harvard and certified in perinatal mental health, Dr. Pensak provides practical and emotional support, helping to relieve the anxiety and pressure for perfection in motherhood and paving the way for a better beginning for families and babies. She discusses mental health treatment and the upside of therapy during this changing time, and offers accessible scientific information, relatable anecdotes, and strategies for self-care. The result is a reassuring and practical handbook that new mothers and their families will refer to time and again.
Evaluation comments:
“I wish I had this book after I had my daughter.”
“I like that the book emphasizes that motherhood is not something that can or should be done alone.”
“The author does a good job explaining that postpartum anxiety that new moms experience is a result of “matrescence.” This term was coined by a medical anthropologist, Dana Raphael, in 1973. It explains that there are brain and identity changes that happen when becoming a mother.”
“The author provides practical ways women can work their “postpartum brain” to be calm and resilient using various tools and consistent habits. She talks about the fact that being anxious is a sign that your brain is adapting. She talks about tools to reframe thoughts, be self-compassionate and develop grounding rituals. She encourages new mothers to get support and to rest.”
“I like that this book really shows women that they are not alone. Becoming a mother is overwhelming. You have a little human being that you are in charge of and your body hurts (especially if you had a C-section), you are learning to nurse, you are exhausted.”
“Some women have older children to care for as well. Imagine having an infant that is not sleeping and a toddler that is high energy. As women we think we should automatically be a good mother. This book gives great advice for mental health treatment at this time in a woman’s life.”
“I wished I had this when I was postpartum. I had a challenging time, was exhausted and felt bad about myself. This would have been a great resource.”